The wonder has captured me, frozen me in something worse than time: indecision. What else could poison your entirety more than the stillness between? The hesitation found when there’s a choice between two? We feel doing nothing is better sometimes, but nothing supports one side, or is it a separate side sometimes? A third option in a world that spits duality.

Is sharing this mind warping pondering going to hurt me? When do I share, if ever? After I’ve embodied it?

Today I looked up the meaning of epiphany. This is what I’m experiencing and coding in superfluous language. At least it’ll be a puzzle for clever mind divers to uncover. Or it’ll look like a mind fraying at every edge. It’s always been this way in this mind. I just don’t want to cover it anymore.

I was expecting it say something about knowing without knowing. While it somewhat does, its entirety is a little more interesting.

The manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles as represented by the Magi.
• The festival commemorating the Epiphany on January 6.
• A manifestation of a divine or supernatural being.
• A moment of sudden revelation or insight.

Hmm. A rabbit hole, the holiest of them all. The relation to Christ is not far fetched, but simply unexpected. Manifestations, revelations, and insights have always been tethered to the supernatural somehow.

When the prophets received epiphanies, didn’t they share them? Was the bible showing what to do or warning what not to do when you’re entranced by one?

Someone I believe in says you keep them. They’re for you. You become it first. You shape it with your becoming meditatively.  Put it in your own words. Then you share it. The gestation period always eluded me. The Tao says being a blabber mouth is a part of the process, but didn’t say when to blabber. In a world of instant sharing, it’s always blabber first.

These are my blabbers. 

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