At the risk of losing everything, I write this and I write it in rage, love, passion, cynicism, cold and open heartedness, disgust, joy, despair, positivity, and in the open ended passive aggressive most dangerous four letter word, HOPE. I’ve never talked like this before, but I’m almost at done point.
I’m absolutely tired of the human race as a whole. We are the absolute worst thing to happen to the Earth and it really showed when we were (are?) in lockdown.
Earth (the anagram for heart and heart disease being the top cause of death worldwide) literally sent us a Fuck You, Humans note by healing whilst we cowered from a human targeted virus. We need the Earth; she doesn’t need us.
Look at us with our little plans to get back out there and tell the Earth to go fuck herself by following a system that absolutely hates most of its people and Earth herself. And I can’t for the life of me figure out why the hell the suffering majority keeps following the delusion of systemic change when that shit doesn’t work.
You know what’s amazing about Trump? His existence in one of the most powerful positions on earth is the most blatant neon colored fucking sign ever that those in power can and will do whatever the hell they desire in the dark and in our face and we will be little shits and take it.
My partner asked me why I wasn’t overtly outraged about George Floyd. That’s what sparked this upchuck. I worked in social justice for a few years. I saw real change. I saw the illusion of progress. I saw stillness. I saw the cycle of it over and over again. When I stepped back from it, I just saw the megaboss of gaslighting. The reason it keeps working is because of positive reinforcement.
The system gives us just enough hope to keep thinking we’re making progress so we’ll keep participating. It’s like using a butter knife to cut through Mount Everest. Oh look! A chunk the size of my fist came off! I must be doing a thing right! I’ll keep going then! Oh look, a chunk the size of a car, an orange, a semi, a twelve story building, a peanut, e.t.c. We’ve been led to believe things change only slowly, but that’s not always so.
I find it interesting that they’re saying Mr. Floyd died not of just strangulation, but underlying health problems. I see this as an easy way for his murderer to get off. On the other hand, 90% (USA TODAY) of people dying of COVID had underlying conditions, so where does that leave things?
Laws and policies that hurt and deny people basic human rights should be abolished since YES!terday. Why is that only incomprehensible to government?
I’m ready to start a REAL revolution, not this slow fake ass shit. We can’t afford any more of our lives WAITING. I don’t want to spend my life fighting and paving a way for my kid. That’s bullshit slow death rhetoric. I want to experience it! How selfish of me to want a quality life.
ME Is WE Upside Down
My acts of anarchy are my ways of changing myself because I don’t want to argue with idiots bloated up on power anymore. On the other spectrum, I hate chatting to people who simply say, “well that’s just how the world works”. It only works because we allow it! It’s fueled by our relinquishment of our personal power.
I cannot do it alone ultimately. I can live off grid and not eat animals and homeschool or whatever else I feel empowers me in my army of one. I want to say fuck everyone and everything by disappearing without a trace, but I don’t thrive in a heartless space for too long because that makes me worst than the oppressor.
The system is completely rubbish. We need a totally new one that incorporates all of life, not just human life. Earth and its many species should be included equally or it won’t bloody work. Let’s build. Tell me who, how, what, where, and when. I’ll pass it on to those ready to see the world for what it is and what it can be.
P.S. My mask says “This isn’t normal, love is”, the last two words intentionally are harder to see. And if you read this as all rage, you missed the love.